It's my time.  

My harvest. 

Not in all areas of my life, but in one.  I say this to encourage you -  in your time of struggle, fog, stress, keep doing what is right in your heart.  

We all want a MORE BETTER DIFFERENT life, right?  

Mine was a 2 year......well 16 year journey that I would coward away from until 2 years ago.  TEARS, stress, doubt, fear, broken relationship.  

But HE put it in my heart and I FINALLY became obedient.

I am now in the season of harvest and it feels AMAZING!  

Survey the Damage

This first Monday morning of the new year I had to survey the damage. Scale and measuring tape tools ready to go.  WAIT - I should go to the bathroom first. That's better.  Here we goooooooo

It wasn't as bad as my mind had allowed me to think.  Only a few pounds more than the last time I looked. One inch here and a half inch there.  

The past few days I have been meditating on health, changes, vision, future. I realized that it is the mental damage that needed the survey and needs the recovery. You see, I have allowed myself to slip back into old habits. "It's okay to have a glass of wine".  Slowly they creep in. "It's the holidays, celebrate".  "wow I drank the whole bottle". GUILT. SHAME. GRIP. CRAVE. ESCAPE. NUMB. 

For some it's sugar. Over exercising. Carbs. Alcohol. Porn. Drugs. They are all the same. They ALL fulfill desires of the flesh and push out the greatness of the creator. We turn left and we should turn right. Run away and hide when we should kneel down and pray. Fill the void with things of this world, not with Him.  

Today my fast has begun. I don't want to crave anything more than I crave His light and glory. So I surrender what I want now for what I want most. 

Don't worry, I'am keeping an eye on the landscape of my flesh too. Hey, I am human.