This first Monday morning of the new year I had to survey the damage. Scale and measuring tape tools ready to go. WAIT - I should go to the bathroom first. That's better. Here we goooooooo
It wasn't as bad as my mind had allowed me to think. Only a few pounds more than the last time I looked. One inch here and a half inch there.
The past few days I have been meditating on health, changes, vision, future. I realized that it is the mental damage that needed the survey and needs the recovery. You see, I have allowed myself to slip back into old habits. "It's okay to have a glass of wine". Slowly they creep in. "It's the holidays, celebrate". "wow I drank the whole bottle". GUILT. SHAME. GRIP. CRAVE. ESCAPE. NUMB.
For some it's sugar. Over exercising. Carbs. Alcohol. Porn. Drugs. They are all the same. They ALL fulfill desires of the flesh and push out the greatness of the creator. We turn left and we should turn right. Run away and hide when we should kneel down and pray. Fill the void with things of this world, not with Him.
Today my fast has begun. I don't want to crave anything more than I crave His light and glory. So I surrender what I want now for what I want most.
Don't worry, I'am keeping an eye on the landscape of my flesh too. Hey, I am human.
Awesome, Katie! I've been doing something similar and in the beginning it was torture, the cravings were terrible. It's much easier now and my focus has been sharpened by a healthy work environment. No snacking at the desk, no cookies, no alcohol, and all sugar - my nemesis. Trying to move more, even though it can be painful, but I'll make it, I know. So will you.
ReplyDeleteSo it's been about 25 days. How are you doing? How is your energy? Struggles and wins.
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